


But You Felt Enough

by untapdtreasure



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-03
Updated: 2015-12-07
Packaged: 2018-04-07 10:19:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4259637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/untapdtreasure/pseuds/untapdtreasure
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They had wanted uncomplicated. They had wanted easy. Things couldn't have been more complicated, more hard, than they were now.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. You Can See It with the Lights Off

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers: December Solstice  
> This takes place before Rafael Barba's grandmother passes away. It's more of an extended scene kind of fic than anything. Enjoy! Let me know what you think.

Olivia's obvious turmoil ebbed through her voice as she plead with him to tell her what she desperately needed to hear. That Johnny Drake couldn't touch the life that she had built with her son. That for once, she was going to get the happy ending.

His hand on her arm had been comforting; calming her like nothing else could. She clung to the child in her arms. Exhaustion plagued her. "Barba..." she barely breathed.

He scooted closer, against his better judgement. He moved his hand to brush hair from her face to tuck behind her ear. He then let his fingertips brush across her cheek. He leaned in slowly, brushing his mouth over where his fingers had just been. His arms went around the pair of them, pulling them as close as he dared. This hadn't been the first time he'd kissed her, but this had been the first time that Noah had been present.

She leaned heavily into him. They had wanted uncomplicated. They had wanted easy. Things couldn't have been more complicated, more hard, than they were now. She wanted to get her life with Noah underway, stay in control, but Rafael Barba's presence continued to haunt her desire to focus on her child. He felt like the missing piece of her very complex puzzle.

And yet, she had no idea how he felt about her. It was obvious he cared about her. They were colleagues first, and then became friends. His very existence rattled her to her very core.

He had to shift his body as Olivia settled against his shoulder. He watched as Noah lay against his mother's chest, but his tiny hand reached out to grab him by one of his suspenders. He closed his eyes. "Think you can sleep if I stay?"

She nodded, barely making a noise as she shifted so she could curl into his side. Her lips parted. "He's not going down anytime soon."

He nodded. "It's okay. Pretty sure I can manage him. Just rest..." He let his hand shift from her back to her hair where he gently carded his fingers through it in an attempt to calm her down so that she could get some much needed, and much desired, sleep.

She let out a soft sigh. His reassurance had been enough to put her at ease, but his touch relaxed her in ways that even she had to admit no one else had come close to. Not even Elliot.

Noah shifted his head so that he could look up at the man that was holding his Mom close. He watched with wide-eyed wonderment as he held on tightly to the strap at the man's chest. His little mouth turned up into a grin.

It was contagious as Rafael looked down, smiling back at him. He then laid his larger hand over the baby's smaller one and patted it gently. "Not going to let anything get in the way of your life, Noah. You got a Mommy that loves you. We'll make sure any fool can see that."

She couldn't help but smile as she heard him talking softly to her son. He no doubt thought she was asleep, and she wasn't about to give herself away. However, sleep tugged at her, urging her to give into it. She let his voice lull her. The last thing she remembered was Noah scooting closer to Rafael as they had their own private conversation.

\- -

Olivia woke to a dark, quiet room. It seemed that three of them had fallen asleep together after all. She lifted her head, searching for Noah. She found him with his head tucked into the crook of Rafael's neck; both were softly snoring.

She slipped from his embrace, hoping not to wake either of them, but his hand slid into hers as she stood. She squeezed it gently before turning to explain, "I have to pee." She bent, catching his mouth in a tender kiss before pulling away and doing just what she'd said she had to do.

Rafael then carefully stood, holding Noah against him as he carried the boy to his bed in the other room. He tucked him in; complete with a kiss to his forehead.

He righted himself, feeling her eyes on him. He turned slowly to meet her eyes. His feet carried him quietly toward her as he pulled the door closed almost all the way. "You hungry? We could order in. My treat." He slipped an arm around her back, hoping to guide her back toward the living area. He squeezed her hip gently with his fingers. "Anything you want. I'm not picky."


	2. Meant Just for You

Chapter 2: Meant Just For You

Olivia loved the feel of his arm around her. The sleep on the couch might have been the best sleep she had gotten in as long as she could remember. She leaned into him, curling her body almost as if she was allowing him to guide her movements. Her head dropped gently onto his shoulder. "Pizza sounds good right now," she admitted. 

"Pizza it is then." He turned his head, kissing her forehead as they stopped at the edge of the kitchen. He turned, taking her hips gently in both of his hands now. He met her eyes and encouraged, "Go shower, change into pajamas, or whatever makes you feel comfortable. I'll order pizza. Shouldn't take too long this time of night." 

She gave a gentle nod, taking a step forward into his personal space. Her mouth sought his in a gentle kiss. Her lips lingered as her arms moved around his appropriately toned body. Her eyes had fluttered closed as she pulled away slightly. "You're the best, Rafael. Thank you." She felt his hands slip from her waist and move around her back to hold her close to him. 

He wrapped her into the tightest embrace. He buried his face in her neck, breathing her in. He whispered, "I'm right where I want to be, Liv. Don't ever doubt that." He pulled back then, cupping her cheeks with both of his hands. "Now go. Do as I said..." 

She smirked then, giving a soft snort. "We're going to have to talk about this bossing me around stuff. I'm going to let it slide this once, but you'd better not get it in your head that I'm going to just roll over and play dead from here on out." She playfully wagged a finger at him as she stepped in the direction of the short hallway.

He chuckled softly as he pulled out the stack of take-out menus from on top of the bar. "Trust me, I know this. I don't plan to make it a habit." He turned only his head as he looked at her. "Come on. The pizza will be here and cold before you even get into the shower at this rate." He made a motion of shewing her away. "Apúrate please?" 

"Since you asked nicely," she teased as she turned heading toward her bedroom to get a change of clothes and clean under things. 

\- - 

After emerging from the shower a half hour later, he looked up at her from his place on the couch. He stood then to reveal that he removed his jacket as well as his tie and rolled his shirt sleeves up to his elbows. His suspenders hung at his sides as if they had been forgotten. He moved toward her, taking in her appearance.

She had recently towel dried her hair but she hadn't bothered with running a comb through it. Her pale pink pajama bottoms caught his attention next. He didn't expect the color to look good on her, but it was likely to be the most gorgeous of all the colors he had seen her in if he was being honest with himself. His eyes moved up to the tight fitting white tank top that covered her torso. He didn't realize that he was staring until she cleared her throat. His eyes instantly snapped to hers. His cheeks turned red almost instantly.

"I take it you approve, counselor." Her eyes danced with wicked delight as her bare feet carried her toward him. She stopped merely inches from him. Her hands rested against his chest.

He couldn't resist her as his hands encircled her waist as he pulled her in closer. He breathed, "I like when I'm taller." He dipped his head slightly, kissing her tenderly. "Makes this easier."

She smiled against his lips before she moved one hand from his chest and up into his hair. "Shut up, Rafael, and just kiss me." Her mouth sought his once again, pressing her parted lips against his and taking the kissing to a new level of intensity. 

His hand pressed flat against her back, keeping her as close to him as he possible could. His other hand moved into her dark, wet locks and tangled there. He tilted his head more to give him better access to the sweet recesses of her mouth. He could still taste the mint flavor of her tooth paste. He pulled back slowly before he pressed his forehead against hers. "Olivia..."

"That's my name, handsome." Her lips quirked into a smile as she pulled away; a soft peel of laughter floated from her lips. Her hand moved along his arm until she found his hand and tangled their fingers together. "Come on. I'm starving." She led the way to the living room where he had the pizza box and their drinks waiting on the coffee table.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apúrate please? - Hurry please. Or Quickly please. Thanks, mauscapade (tumblr), for the help with the Spanish.


	3. And You Understand Now

Two glasses of wine and almost a whole pizza between them later, they sat close together on the couch. She had already undone several of his buttons on his shirt. Stating simply that he needed to live a little and not be so put together all the time. Her fingertips then teased the smooth, bare skin she had exposed underneath.

He tried desperately to concentrate on the talking fish on the screen. Finding Nemo is what she had called it. He felt his heart as it hammered in his chest. His head turned; their eyes locked. "You're not watching the movie."

She scooted closer as her hand slipped beneath his dress shirt; nails raked against his nipple. She bit her lip slightly as she felt it peak under her touch. "Thank you, Captain Obvious."

Her head moved forward, lips pressing against his neck. "Why are you still watching the movie?" Her lips peppered tiny kisses along his throat before her mouth found his ear. "Pretty sure there's something more productive that needs doing."

His eyes were closed as he enjoyed the attention she was paying him. His body responded to her. He would have had to have been dead for it not to have. His lips parted. "Is that so, Sergeant?" His head shifted then so they were looking at one another. "Do tell."

"How about I show you instead?" She shifted so that her body straddled his. She felt a thrill of adrenaline as his hands immediately came down to her hips as he thrust upwards to show her exactly what she was doing to him. Her eyes slammed shut as she let a soft moan fall from her lips. Her head fell forward. She opened her eyes as her forehead touched his. 

He stared into her beautiful brown eyes. "Are you sure this is what you want?" He knew she had been dealing with a lot; so many changes in her life since Noah came into her heart and home. He gripped her hips tightly, keeping her in place as not to rush this. They had time for all of this, and he didn't want her to regret a single moment of their time together.

She nodded slowly. Her mouth found his once again, kissing him until she was breathless above him. One hand was on his shoulder and the other was grasping at his hair. "Please?" she breathed before kissing him again. 

His hands moved slowly before he gripped the hem of her tank top in his trembling fingers. He eased it upward, pushing it up and over her toned abdomen then her breasts. He whispered, "Arms up, Liv?" When she obeyed him, he rid her completely of the tank top. He held it tightly in his grasp, pressing it against her back as he leaned forward to press a soft kiss to the swell of her breast then he switched and did the same to the other. 

Her body trembled with each kiss of her scarred skin. She'd only been with Brian since Lewis' attack. While Brian had been patient with her, this was different. Rafael had been the only person in her life that hadn't treated her like she was broken. This was no different. She wanted every moment with him to last forever. She wanted to etch every moment into her memory to recall in the moments when he couldn’t be with her. 

She slowly extricated herself from his arms and touches and stood up. She could see the confusion in his eyes, but she shook her head and reached for his hands to pull him up with her. She pressed her chest to his, wrapping her arms around his neck as they kissed once more. "I think we'll be more comfortable in the bedroom." She then slowly stepped away, reaching for his hand to urge him to follow her. 

He would follow her anywhere; something he'd discovered a while ago, but it struck him in that moment that this was the true test of that. He held her hand tightly in his as she led him into her bedroom. The lamp by the bed illuminated the bed, and he was grateful when she didn't reach to shut it off. 

They stood now by the edge of the bed. Her back was to him so he moved closer so he could wrap her in a gentle embrace. When her hand came up and wrapped around his head and threaded her fingers through his hair, he closed his eyes before he kissed her shoulder. He let out a soft sigh. "We can go as slow and as far as you want, Olivia. There's no need to rush anything. I promise." 

She turned slowly, eyes soft and so full of emotion. Her fingers slipped up to the first button that she'd left buttoned and let the button pop loose before moving lower and lower until they were all undone. She moved her hands up his stomach and then his chest and to his shoulders where she gently pushed the fabric from his arms to fall to the floor. "I want it all with you." Her mouth fell onto his smooth chest, tongue tracing a path to his nipple where she teased it gently before she reached to undo his pants and let them fall to the floor with his shirt. 

He watched her, holding his breath the entire time. His body was almost bare to her. He sat on the edge of the bed, pulling her gently between his parted legs and let his fingers gently ease the waistband of her pale pink pajama bottoms away from her body to slowly push it down over her hips and let them join his discarded shirt and pants on the floor. He leaned forward, pressing a soft kiss to stomach. He smiled against her skin. "Good. Because I want it all with you, Liv." 

She stood looking down at him. They were only in their underwear, and she'd never felt more sexy and wanted than she did when she looked into his eyes. They truly were the window to his soul. Her hands moved over his shoulders and up into his hair where she gently massaged whatever was within her reach. 

His hands moved up her outer thighs, nails digging in here and there at the thought of what was to come. He slowly eased her down to straddle his body, keeping a firm grip as to not let her fall. Their mouths met again and again in gently, chaste kisses that tasted of more to come. He whispered, "You're in complete control here. Don't ever forget that."


	4. .He Keeps His Word

Olivia's hands moved up his arms, over his shoulders and neck to come to rest on his cheeks. "I know." Her mouth tenderly fell on his as she kissed him. She moved her hand into his hair, cradling the back of his head as she encouraged him to lie back. Her body rocked against his.

 

His arms went around her, moving up along her shoulder blades as he turned her onto her back. He moved them toward the head of the bed as he continued to touch and kiss her. "Liv..." he breathed between kisses.

 

Her hands gripped his biceps. Her eyes raked over him, taking in every emotion that crossed his face. She kissed along his jaw, nipping and sucking as she made her way to his ear. "Make love to me."

 

He didn't need to be told twice. His mouth moved along her jaw and down the hollow of her throat. His tongue slipped along her skin, tasting her salty, sweet flavor. "Mmm..."

 

She was unable to keep her eyes open as her body gave a slight shiver of anticipation. "Rafael..." she breathed. Her hands moved up into his hair, messing it up. She tugged hard enough to elicit a growl from somewhere deep inside him. "Please?"

 

He removed her panties, stripping them down her smooth, toned legs only to discard them to the side of the bed before making short work of his own underwear. He gently spread her legs and settled between them as his mouth pressed to hers in a gentle, languid kiss. His body pressed between her legs. "What about protection?"

 

She focused on his words, pointing toward the drawer of her nightstand. She had no idea of his preferred brand of condoms, but it was better than nothing. She was on the pill, but one had to be careful and protect themselves.

 

He kissed her again, smirking against her bottom lip before he licked it gently and latched onto her lip as he worried it seductively between his teeth. "Always prepared, are we, Sergeant?"

 

"Always," she purred. She shifted, curling toward the nightstand to retrieve the foil wrapped object of their mutual desire. She ripped it open, moving her hand down between them to roll it onto him. "My God," she growled at the feel of him in her hand.

 

"I take if you approve." He reached for her wrist, freeing himself from her grasp and tangling his fingers with hers. He pushed her hand into the pillow by her head as he pushed into her hot, wet heat. "Olivia..."

 

Her free hand moved up his shoulder blade and then his neck and into his hair. Her nails dug into his scalp. "Yes. Yes. Yes." Her eyes rolled back into her head, loving every second she was with him.

 

As he slipped deeper inside her, it was all he could do to focus on not releasing right away. His breath labored from the intensity of finally being with her, and he didn't know how long he would last. "Mi amor. Olivia, dios mio."

 

She kissed him, effectively shutting him up as her knees moved up to latch around his hips. The man never did know when to stop talking. Her tongue pushed into his mouth, tangling with his. It wasn't a fight for dominance. There was never a power struggle between them. The bedroom would be no different.

 

He grunted into her mouth as the pace increased. His hips and hers moved together as if they had always been doing so. Her heels dug into his toned ass.

 

She freed her hand that he'd pinned to the pillow, wrapping her arm around his head as his mouth moved along her jaw to her throat. The friction was almost unbearable as her mouth fell open and the unmistakable sounds of pleasure rolled off her tongue. She was already so close.

 

He felt her tightening around him. His mouth moved to her ear. "That's it. Come on, Liv. Come. On." He was there, and he refused to go over that edge without her. His eyes were clenched tight.

 

She fell over the edge, turning her face into his neck and hair as she let out a soft cry of pleasure. His name mixed into a string of unintelligible words and whimpers. "Please now," she gasped, needing his pleasure to couple with her own. "Rafael..."

 

In the end it was his name on her tongue that did him in, he thrust twice and fell over the edge. He   
buried himself deep inside as his slight thrusts milked him until he was spent. "Liv... My God, Liv..."

 

She smiled against his hair. "Been awhile, Counselor?" she teased as her nails raked down his scalp and then his back until she reached his ass and gave it a good squeeze.

 

"Too long, but that's not reason." His breath was still labored as he rolled onto his bad, dislodging their joined bodies. He gave a slight frown at the loss of contact so he pulled her close. "You're quite wonderful and delicious, too."

 

Her cheeks blushed red as she buried her face against his shoulder. "But you didn't..."

 

"Delicious," he repeated. "And nothing you say will convince me otherwise. You'll see. Rafael Barba is always right." His hand slid down her sweat soaked back and come to rest on her hip.

 

"So you think because I let you bed me that this will be a regular thing? What makes you think this was anything more than scratching an itch?" She raised her head, looking him dead in the eye.


	5. You Are In Love

Rafael chuckled softly. He leaned up, pressing a kiss right beside her ear. "Because I know you..." He breathed her in, and then teased her jawline with his nose. "You wouldn't bring an itch scratcher into your home with Noah. No, ma'am."

She smacked playfully at his arm. The laughter bubbled up sleepily between them. Her head turned, taking full hold of his lips with her own. Her bare body shifted, sliding right up against him as her head came to rest against his shoulder. "You're an ass, Barba."

He smirked, closing his eyes. "That's why you love me." He hadn't meant for that particular phrase to leave his thoughts, but now that it had, he was completely comfortable with it.

She smiled against his neck. "Go to sleep before I make you sleep on the couch."

"Yes, ma'am."

\- -

The next morning, Rafael woke to an empty bed. He frowned, but only until his brain focused enough to hear the shower running. He moved slowly to sit up and then dropped his feet to the carpeted floor. He pushed himself to stand and reached for his boxer shorts.

After slipping them on, he moved toward the hallway. After a quick peak into Noah's room to see the still sleeping child, he moved toward the sound of the all too inviting shower. He opened the door, slipping inside quickly to keep the heat trapped inside the bathroom. He let his boxers fall to the floor and eased in behind her in the shower.

Her back was to him. It was inviting as he stepped to her, kissing her exposed neck. "Good morning, Liv," he murmured as he placed his hands on her hips with a slight squeeze.

Gone was the morning after jitters that caused her flight from the warmth of her bed as she relaxed completely against him, moaning in appreciation of his proximity. "Morning." She turned slowly in his arms, letting the water fall against her back. Her mouth sought his, kissing him deeply. Her arms moved around his neck, fingers moving into his sleep mussed hair.

"That's more like it," he breathed as their lips parted. His forehead pressed against hers as their eyes met. "Noah's still sound asleep."

"Good." Her mouth found his again. This way they could take their time and enjoy thoroughly waking up together.

His hands encircled her waist, bringing her flush against him. "Something in mind, have you?"

"Definitely..." And that she did. Neither of them paid attention to time after that until the water ran cold.

Shivering, she turned the water off and reached for two towels. After handing him one, she began to dry herself off. "He's likely to be awake now or at least soon."

He nodded, drying himself off before he wrapped the towel around his waist. He leaned over, kissing her cheek. "How about I make us all some breakfast?"

Olivia's stomach took that opportunity to rumble appreciatively. "Sounds like heaven. The coffee pot is on a timer. Should already be started." She wrapped the towel around her body and headed for the door.

His arms snaked out, catching her just before she could open the door. Shower shenanigans had been fun, but they hadn't quite relieved the tension they'd built up. "Straight to breakfast, huh?"

Her laughter bubbled up as she turned slowly, snatching his towel with one hand just as she pulled open the door with the other. She managed to get out of his grip and through the door before he could even speak. "You'll have to catch me first." 

He managed to catch her just as she made it into the bedroom, relieving her of her towel. Now they both stood, naked and all smiles. He reached for her waist, pulling her against him; his desire for her trapped between their bodies. "Now I wonder what it is that I should do with you..." He licked his lips as he tilted his head. 

Her stomach burned hot with anticipation. Last night had been nothing short of amazing, and then the touches and kisses in the shower were the highlight of the morning. Thus far anyway. She moved onto the unmade bed, settling in the center and crooked her finger at him.

He crawled onto the bed, catching her mouth with his. He had deepened the kiss, intent to take it even further until he heard Noah calling out for his Momma. He groaned softly, slightly disappointed, but not one to get in the way of her parental duties or begrudge the little man his wanting of his mother, he kissed her nose. "Go." 

"Tonight, I promise," she said as she kissed him fully on the mouth, biting at his bottom lip playfully before scooting out from under him and grabbing his discarded dress shirt that he'd left on the floor of her bedroom. 

He lay down and watched as she pulled it over her body and fastened several buttons before disappearing out the bedroom door. 

"Mommy's coming, Noah."

\- - 

Half an hour later, Rafael had managed to dress himself in what was left of his clothes from yesterday. She'd laid claim to his shirt for the time being, and he was content to let her wear it as she took care to get Noah up and ready for the day. 

Their eyes met as she entered the kitchen with Noah on her hip. She winked as she held out his shirt to him and leaned into him as she kissed his mouth. Being that she was still barefoot, he was that slight two inches taller than her, and damn if it didn't feel good. "Smells delicious in here. You made waffles?" Her eyes lit up she noted the waffles on the plate on the breakfast bar. 

"Don't be too excited. Found a box of frozen ones in the freezer." He took his shirt, slipping it on and buttoning it, but he didn't bother to tuck it in or pull up his suspenders. He tickled Noah's stomach. "Buenos dias, Noah. How did you sleep?" 

The little boy giggled and tucked his head into his Mommy's neck. He fisted Olivia's shirt and held on tightly as she moved around Rafael and toward his high chair. 

Rafael then went about fixing himself another cup of coffee. "I'd like to really show what I can do for breakfast. This weekend maybe?" He glanced at Olivia, who happened to look over her shoulder at him after sliding Noah into his high chair and securing the tray. 

"Only if you spend the night beforehand." That was her only request. She moved back to the bar, grabbing a waffle and started to tear it into bite sized pieces for Noah. She then moved to dump several pieces on his tray and allowed him some syrup to dip it in. She kissed the top of his head as Barba stepped up with a cup of juice in hand. "Thanks." She took the cup and placed it on Noah's tray. "Eat up. Lucy will be here soon. Then Mommy and Rafael have to go to work." 

Rafael reached out, catching her waist. He met her eyes. "I wouldn't have it any other way." He leaned in then, kissing her mouth softly and letting his lips linger. 

"I love you. You know that, right?" Her forehead leaned against his as she closed her eyes and held her breath. 

He felt his heartbeat quicken. His eyes moved to study her. "Look at me, Liv..." When she did as he requested, his hand cupped her cheek. "I love you, too. Last night was everything to me. Here with you...with him..." He cut his eyes to the boy, who was now covered in syrup as he greedily ate the waffle on his tray, and then back to her. "This is where I want to be. With you. With him. No one is going to mess this up. Not me. Not you. And most importantly, not Johnny Drake."

Her arms moved around him, hugging him close to her. She buried her face in his neck. That was all she had needed to hear, and he'd already confirmed that the night before with his talk with Noah. And now he'd told her that he'd loved her, too. She couldn't ask for anything more. 

Well, except for a long and happy life with the both of them. 

//the end


End file.
